No, I'm not talking about Seth MacFarlane. I'm talking about a girl named "Kayla". You can find some of her enlightening comments here. She keeps herself anonymous until she outs herself later. Well, I stumbled across one of her videos on a Seth MacFarlane fansite. I could seriously rip into this girl 24/7 for making such an abomination, but I'll let you be the judge. Enjoy:

Okay, someone just made my life easier. I received a comment with all of the following episode break-downs. Unfortunately, I can't thank that person because they're anonymous. Whoever you are, thank you. Not only for doing my work, but educating the dumbfuck sheep out there.



"Okay a quick rundown of the shit you missed: 1) G... Okay a quick rundown of the shit you missed:

1) Go Stewie Go: A bad rehash of "Tootsie" where Stewie acts gay because, as Seth McFuckface believes, Fags are funny! Oh yes, Lois acts slutty, again. As you have mentioned, many of the so-called jokes are just lines rehashed from "Tootsie." However, BABY STEWIE SAYS THE LINES! Hahahaha, everything is funny when Stewie says it! Fucking assholes.

2) "Peter-assment": Extremely bad episode, even by FG standards about Peter (probably one of the most annoying lead characters ever) gets sexually harassed. Right.

3.) Brian Griffin's House of Payne. Man, you have to be a real fucktard to steal from Tyler Perry. However, this is one of the few shows that did not suck that bad because the vastly talented James Woods reappears again. Seth McFuckteeth must have blackmailed Woods or gives ol' Jimmy one hellava blow job to keep him coming back.

4.) April in Quahog: A lame April Fool's joke results in a lame episode ending.

5.) Brian and Stewie: How fucking original of a title for the big bad 150th episode. Seth McFucktoes pumped this up as his version of "Waiting for Godot." Ha! this was a tired rehash of two conflicting characters stuck in a closet/safe/meatlocker/elavator that we have seen so many times before on shows like "All in the Family," "WKRP," "Family Matters" etc., except done much much better.

6) "Quagmire's Dad" Once again, Seth McFucklips reminds us how funny fags and crossdressers are.

7) "The Splendid Source" The only reason this show does not blow chunks is a cameo appearance from Bender the Robot from the vastly superior show, "Futurama." Supposively, this reunites Cleveland as they search for the source of all dirty jokes. This was stolen from a 1980s (surprise) article from National Lampoon magazine titled "My Tongue is Quick."

8) "Something Something" Star Wars crap. Really? ANOTHER fucking parody of Star Wars. Really? Is this the hep fresh humor of Seth McFucktard and his hoard of slack- jawed, extra-chromosome set fans set as ripe for parody? Why are there fan films on YouTube better than this shit?

9) "Partial Terms of Endearment"
Wow, this was suppose to be some edgy episode involving jokes going on way too long, stupid cutaway jokes, some 80s jokes, and some hackneyed philosphical points subtly (like a jackhammer) provided from the world of Seth McFucknuts.

The change from previous seasons to the last two is that Seth McFucktaint is no longer (pathetically) ripping off "The Simpsons" but is now ripping off "South Park" complete with parodies of classic Loonie Toon jokes. Abortion episodes are not funny without Eric Theodore Cartman or Christmas Critters. Hail Satan!

So there, your life is now restored. Go out an enjoy the rest of summer. "

As you should be well aware, this site is, by no means, a fan site for Family Guy. This site, however, is. When you get a free moment, stroll on over and read through some of the blog posts on the home page. I mean, I'd understand it if the retarded writing skills were coming from an Ethiopian schoolgirl, but unfortunately, they're not. The guy who runs the site (Kel, I think), was actually given a guest spot on an FG episode. Look, I'm not perfect. I'm human and I make typos like everyone else (lyke right now), but this goes beyond a simple oversight. Looking at this and some of my other links, it's safe to say that one could correlate a lack of intelligence with being a "Family Guy" fan.

Here's an excerpt:

"We at SMU will be starting a contest on the 10th of December 2009.
So! Please e-mail your name and mailing address to kel@sethmacfarlane.net
remember to tittle the e-mail Darkside Contest. 3 luck winners will win a DVD
copy of the new Family Guy DVD "Something Something Something Dark Side"
that will be in stores December 22, 2009. The 3 lucky winners will get their copies
after the release on the 22. You have to be at 16 years old and live in the USA & Canada
to enter this contest. Your mailing address will not be shown to anyone beside myself
The dark side contest will close on the 22 of December. This contest is thanks to Fox
Home Entertainment.
Posted By: Kel, December 09. 2009"

Holy Fuckballs! I've long neglected this blog and there's so much to talk about. Off the top of my head, here are a few:

1. Seth MacFarlane purchased an exact replica of the Delorean from "Back to the Future". Methinks someone can double as Uncle Rico. Seth, if by chance you ever read this, I'd like to fill you in: Time travel isn't possible. I know you're a fucking nerd and would like to go back in time and get some old high school vag, but the truth is, even with a fuck-ton of money, no girl would let you get near them. For God sakes, you were practically molesting Amanda Bynes! Seriously, bud. Grow up. Find a girl your own age (36, right?).

2. Remember this post? Did you actually get to see this episode? I told you I'd reference the shit out of it. Fucking cunt nugget.

3. I've dropped the ball on so many episode reviews because of this thing called "life". Like most of you with a brain, I have a job. This job takes up over 40 hours of my week. When I get home from this "job", the last thing I want to do is sit in front of my computer tearing into Family Guy episodes. I'm going to make more of an effort, though, seeing as I pay to keep this site up and running (a whopping $10/year).

4. Seth MacFarlane was tapped to head up the "Roast of David Hasselhoff". Predictions: A smug MacAttack will make his typical attempt to be funny with failed shock humor and overused voices.

5. When talking to the LA Times about "Family Guy's" jab at Palin's daughter, here's what MacFarlane had to say: “From its inception, ‘Family Guy’ has used biting satire as the foundation for its humor. The show is an equal-opportunity offender". Ummmmm, might I cry "horseshit"? From its inception? Please, do me a favor and give me an example. Your first episode was about Peter getting welfare checks. Where was the biting satire? And to say you're an "equal-opportunity offender" is laughable. "South Park" is the only show that can claim that title. You're a fucking scum-bag liar. Don't try and be something you're not.

Sorry for the long delay, everyone. I've received some funny hate mail, but far more support for the site, so I figured I'd get off my ass and throw up a new post. I was at work today when one of my co-workers was telling me about the new Family Guy episode. She had no idea I even ran this website. Needless to say, it was enough for me to get on Hulu and give it a peek. Were there any big surprises? Hmmmm, let's see: Peter starred in the first cut-away in which he simply repeated himself while on roller skates. That was hilarious. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, what else, what else--oh yeah, Seth MacFarlane ripped off South Park and their "Biggest Douche in the Universe" episode. That was neat. I particularly liked it when the all-knowing Brian was teaching us that psychics were full of shit. I know I learned something. Let's see, am I missing anything else? Oh yeah, MacFarlane made fun of Sarah Palin via her disabled daughter (as previously stated, would actually be funny if he spread the hate to those of all political ideologies). Oh fuck, how could I forget the musical number? I mean, I'm like everyone else: I cream my pants whenever Seth MacFarlane sings a five minute tune. It's fantastic. In fact, I couldn't think of a better way to spend my life than to hear him sing lame-ass, sloppily-written songs about a girl with Down Syndrome.

This episode is an example of the formula MacFarlane uses to not only stroke his ego, but to push his agenda. The good thing? He fucking sucks at doing it. The sad thing? Even though he sucks, a lot of you faggots support him. You're fucking sheep. Get on my level, ho'.

(sorry for the hurried post, but I have this thing called a "job", and need to get some sleep

Okay, I stopped watching this episode as soon as Hannah Montana and Stewie started singing a song together. Am I the only one who thinks Seth MacFarlane is a raging pedophile? Seriously, how can one go from having Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd in an episode to having a Kidz Bop star on another? From a business perspective, who the fuck is his target audience? Nine year olds? And the evil monkey? That's the equivalent of Home Improvement getting really desperate for ideas and showing Wilson's full face. Bravo, MacFarlane. You're fat AND unoriginal. Here's an idea: Grow a fucking sack and do what YOU want to do with Family Guy, not what you're audience wants. If the proverbial "idea well" runs dry, abandon ship and focus your attention on one of your other crap-projects (i.e. The Cleveland Show).

I'm sure some nerd out there is saying, "Well, how do you know the episode is bad if you stopped half-way through?" To he or she, I say this: "Go fuck yourself and die." No, but seriously, I say this: "Go fuck yourself and die."

Wow. Here's a good idea: Let's take a really lazy idea and stretch it out for thirty minutes. Sound good? Fuck yeah.

For God's sake, MacFarlane is becoming more and more pathetic with each crapisode he pushes out of his chunky ass. Now that the presidential election is over, it isn't hard to see what MacAttack's agenda is. Plain and simple, it's a full-throttled attack on organized religion, especially Christianity. MacFarlane is to indoctrination what Nietzsche was to philosophy: He takes the most obvious opposing arguments to whatever it is he may be debating, and claims them as his own. Now, don't get things twisted when I compare Fatass McGee to Nietzsche; he, in no way, will ever be on that level. MacFarlane will be remembered as the chubby dude who made America's youth fucking retarded. Know this.

Getting back to the episode: Are we really surprised? I can't say that I am. They took ideas that could have been funny and turned them into piles of excrement. To the writing staff's credit, there were a few times I laughed. The universe of deceiving images was clever. Outside of that, everything else was forgettable. Overall, let's hope that this episode is a sign on things to come, as it will lead us to the inevitable end of the stupidest show on the fucking planet.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to watch FG lose (across the board) in the Emmy's. I was in the car with my brother, sister-in-law and niece watching the "Garfield" movie. Ironically, as painful as it was to watch the movie, I couldn't help but notice that it actually followed a coherent plot. Its characters actually fit! After watching the movie, I followed a live-blog from the Emmy's, just to make sure Fatass McGee walked home empty-handed. He did. And I'm happy. Maybe if "Family Guy" could be more like "Garfield", they would have taken home some cake. But alas, it will never be and this is but yet another step towards Fox kicking itself in the ass for giving Family Guy an extension. Congrats to the "Daily Show", though! I was happy to see them leaves with a few.

As for the gap in post dates, I'm waiting on this new season to get started, so hang in there and check back!

As some may have noticed, Fox is refusing to air the "Abortion" episode that Seth MacFarlane so desperately wanted to air. You can read an article discussing it here. To me, this is a win-lose situation. I win because I don't have to watch yet another lame Family Guy episode. However, I lose because MacAttack has gained enormous publicity with these reports and now Hollywood seems to be taking his side and bashing Fox. This is bad news for those of us who have a brain. Why? Well, as I referenced in another post, here are the people who will ultimately (it will be included in the DVD boxset) see the episode. So, now we will be up against a group of dumbshits who think they know all about a specific issue just because they watched an episode of Family Guy. Hooray for mankind. Either way, I could not care less what side you take on the debate, but whichever side you choose, be aware a new generation of idiots will make some of you look retarded.

Apparently, the guys over at ToonZone weren't to happy with Volume 7 of Family Guy. Why, you ask? Well, take a look around this blog and they pretty much reiterate everything I've said. They feel like the funny moments are few and far between, the political agenda is sickening, and that Seth MacFarlane is a homosexual. Okay, I made that last part up, but you should check out the article yourself.

Don't ask me how I found this, but regardless, it's pretty fucking hilarious. This is from Fox's Family Guy forum, and apparently, some fans didn't take kindly to people bad-mouthing FG. This is a perfect testament to the caliber of people FG appeals to.

Click here to see the page...

Okay, I'm somewhat confused. Seth MacFarlane was interviewed by FHM over a week ago, and as you can see in the article, the praise was thick from the beginning. Heralding MacFarlane for his comedic genius, the article claims he is among the "funniest people in the world". Ha. To be fair, the people who wrote the article left it chock-full of grammatical errors and this is evident of any Family Guy fan (see comments).
What I did find interesting, though, is that the writers of this article were quick to point out the regular bullshit on the show, yet still praised MacFarlane for it. Huh? How the fuck does that makes sense? If it's a shitty show, how can this guy be among the "funniest"? They also call him "chubby", but I digress. The folowing are a list of lines found in the article that had me scratching my head:

"And the man who is being paid an incredible $100m to do so – but only as long as he keeps being funny." - FHM

"True, the shows are not massively original." - FHM

"But not all the feedback is universally positive." - FHM

"His affiliation to Barack Obama and his Democratic Party is immediately obvious..." - FHM

"Lucasfilm have advanced with the times. They’ve learned how to make the age of YouTube and user-produced content work to their advantage. And I think you see it in the continued relevance of an almost 35-year-old movie. There are plenty of classic movies that aren’t as relevant these days. Movies that were as big as Star Wars that aren’t as relevant now because they’re over-protected...We’d like to do it with the Star Trek movies...The Indiana Jones movies – at least the first three of them – are something that we’d love to do something with." - Seth MacFarlane

This one deeply disturbed me:

"Back To The Future, I feel like we’ve sort of done the whole thing in pieces, but I’d still love to do that again. That’s one of the best movies ever made." - Seth MacFarlane

"A good portion of Hollywood considers MacFarlane’s shows as little more than rip-offs of The Simpsons."

"But more than that, it’s the vision every nerd has of himself (MacFarlane): a successful, rich, pop-culture-referencing star. The one they pledge to start working towards once the boxsets of Heroes and Battlestar Galactica have been seen to."


So, with all that being said, how in the fuck could someone like Family Guy? Unless you're mildly (or completely) retarded, do yourself a favor and stop watching. Your IQ will immediately increase 10 points.

Brief update: The L.A. Times has a more in depth article here.

According to an article from ToonZone.net, Seth MacFarlane submitted "Family Guy" into the "Outstanding Comedy" category for an Emmy, as opposed to an "Animated" category. No bullshit. This actually makes me giddy. Seth MacFarlane's head is so far up his ass that he actually thinks his show is funny, let alone a contender for a FUCK-ING EMMY! Can you say "crash & burn"? I'd love to hear from his loyal nerd cronies. They, more than anyone, think he has a chance. Sad.

I'm fucking pumped, though. I have never sat and watched the Emmy's, but this one will be impossible to miss. They better have a camera on MacAttacks chubby face when they announce someone else.

Okay, this video is a little bit old and brought to you by Zap2It.com, but it deserves to be mentioned. As you can see, MacFarlane is desperate and fat. I mean, seriously, just look at that image still on the video above. Does he even have eyelashes? Anywho, we can also see him discussing some upcoming episodes, one of which includes abortion. Neat. Let me go ahead and predict that the episode will be full of weak attempts at shock-humor, a Griffin family member who opposes the idea, and later, that same Griffin changing his/her mind. Don't believe me? Take a look at EVERY FUCKING EPISODE he's done. Anger. ANGER!!!!! Only kidding.

What made my ears perk up the most, and my ears never perk up, was him discussing an episode where Brian and Stewie are trapped in a closet and there will be no cut-aways. Are you serious? This may very well mark the end of this crap show. Here are my predictions for this episode: lame dog/baby jokes, a song and dance (remember, MacFarlane voices both characters and whacks off to the sound of his own voice), a fight between the two characters, and poop. We've got a few months before that episode will ever see the light of day, but believe me, I'll reference the shit out of this post when it does.

So, I know it's mid-week and I have yet to comment on the most recent episode, but to be perfectly honest, I watched it and was so unimpressed that it slipped my mind. This episode was the nail-in-the-coffin for the "Seth MacFarlane has run out of creative ideas" debate. Seeing as the show has already had an episode based on the founding of Quahog (Season 2, "Fifteen Minutes of Shame"), they decided to say that the history in the previous story was wrong and that the forthcoming story was true. Right. Give them a few years (please God, no) and they'll say the same exact thing about this story. Lame lame lame.
While I'm aware that some loyal FG nerds are excited at this prospect, viewers who actually care about content are not. Seriously, did you think Lois' dad wanting to feel her tits was funny? Did you enjoy seeing the character of Peter sleeping with Meg (I'm aware they weren't related in the scene, but come on)? Does anyone else see MacFarlane grabbing for straws here? Not only is he reinventing stories, but he's trying to incorporate shock humor (and failing miserably, might I add) to thicken up thin storylines. Please, don't get me wrong. As I watch these FG episodes, I do have a laugh here and there. However, "here and there" isn't enough. For $100 million, we should be getting our fucking poles smoked. I'm sorry, but if you disagree with that then you're probably the same cunt who has worked a job for 10 years and is still too scared to ask for a raise.

You know what? I don't really give a shit that FG parodied some Stephen King works. I don't. I do care, however, that MacFarlane pretty much copied those scripts verbatim. I'm not sure how many of you have actually seen "Stand By Me", "Misery", or "The Shawshank Redemption", but I couldn't help but notice how many of the original lines in those movie were ripped off. I thought about including them in this blog, but I'm lazy and got tired of writing them down. Yeah. My problem with this is that parodying a work already hints at unoriginality, let alone three works. The fact that you can't keep the central plot of said stolen work(s) without stealing lines is even more telling of a retarded writing staff. You'd think that a guy (Seth MacFarlane) who signed a $100 million dollar contract, and whose "Family Guy" empire is valued at over $2 billion dollars, would be able to come up with some original material, but unfortunately, that's not the case. I'm sorry, but it's going to take more than transplanting characters of FG to keep me entertained. I mean, for fuck's sake, put the Griffins in a time machine. Have Chris get hit by a truck. Kill off that gay monkey. Do ANYTHING other than what you've been doing (seasons 5-present).

From the same show as the previous post (Real Time with Bill Maher), we find MacFarlane and Maher jerking off to atheism. Apparently, according to MacFarlane, GWB and his administration have practicaly been forcing religion on everyone. I don't get it. Seriously. Did he make you attend church every Sunday? Did he pass a bill forcing you to pray? For fuck's sake, you've had a show bashing his presidency every step of the way! That exemplifies freedom and the checks and balances our country has. What in God's name (haha) are you complaining about? Oh, woe is Seth. He had to live under a Christian president. What about the president that he stumped for (Obama)? Unless he's lying, he's a Christian as well. Hell, in that case, EVERY U.S. President in history has been Christian! Get over it, you pussy. Since I don't want to turn this into a blog debating issues like religion, I'll go ahead and drop it. But MacFarlane is still a pussy. I'm just saying.

Hey, hey! Guess who decided to be a pundit on "Real Time"? Yep, Seth MacFarlane took off the training wheels and went for the big time. For those who don't know, Bill Maher is to conservatives what Bill O'Reilly is to liberals. Each come across to opposite parties as a complaining vagina. MacFarlane made sure to jump on the conservative-bashing bandwagon, and we can even hear him saying "Fuck Romney" (Mitt Romney, for those who don't give a shit about politics). Again, this blog does not care about politics and/or endorse any ideology. In fact, this blog was created because MacFarlane thought it would be a good idea to take his show in that direction.

Perhaps the most disturbing part of the clip was MacFarlane recruiting Maher to do a guest spot on "Family Guy" as - what else?, a talking cow who supports animal rights (Maher is a chairman for PeTA). So, not only does this confirm that MacFarlane will be continuing his political garbage, but it guarantees that it will be getting more and more biased. Thanks Seth! You're the greatest.

Seth, take a cue from "South Park": If you're going to dish out the hate, dish out the hate to EVERYONE. You know what? Fuck that. Don't take a cue from "South Park". The last thing we need is you stealing someone else's style. Instead, why don't you go back to your roots and leave politics alone. You'll make A LOT of people happy.

Okay, I just browned my pants. Family Guy decided it would be a good idea to guest star Lauren Conrad (of The Hills fame) on their show. What's worse, they made her smart. No bullshit. They made a girl, whose highest achievement in education is a diploma from Laguna Beach High School, smart. They made a girl, who uses the word "like" three times in every sentence, smart.

And surprise, surprise!!! Another "I hate George W. Bush" reference:


Lauren: "Come on, Brian, you know America doesn't like smart people. They elected Bush twice."

Brian: "Yeah, once..."

Okay, where do I begin? For starters, that joke stopped being funny after Bush was reelected in 2004. Insert the douche nozzle, remove the sand, and get the fuck over it. We have a new President. On the same token, the same American people you're calling stupid voted a completely different man into office. Again, politics doesn't seem to be MacFarlane's forte and he should leave it alone.

But seriously. Lauren Conrad? Smart? That's not even funny. If anything, it's depressing. It really makes you wonder if these are the kind of people MacFarlane has been surrounding himself with for the past few years. It sure as Hell would explain the lame content in seasons 5-present.

Haha. Stewie is on steroids. Haha. Hilarious. Even better? Connie D'Amico is dating Chris! Seriously though, I wouldn't call this episode terrible, even though MacFarlane makes yet another Iraq reference:

Peter: "Hey, whatever happened to your son, Kevin?"

Joe: "He died in Iraq."

Peter: "Sad."

See what I mean? Please find the humor in this. Please. Because I can't find it. Seth MacFarlane needs a kick in the balls to remind him that the millions of dollars he's raking in are compensation for his entertaining people, not indoctrinating them. Yes, the Iraq War is sad. We don't need a cartoon to remind us of that. In fact, people watch cartoons to FORGET shit like that. But thanks for bringing it up, though. We appreciate it.